Helpful Resources

Preplanning your funeral decisions

Decisions you can make during pre-funeral planning.
  • Do you want: Burial, cremation or entombment (above ground)
  • Type of farewell – Family, Family and Friends and/or Community Gathering
  • Type of service (religious, non-sectarian, military, theme-based, etc.)
  • Type of farewell – family, family and friends and/or community gathering
  • Location of service, ceremony, tribute, visitation, etc.
  • Casket type: metal, wood, orthodox, etc.
  • Burial/urn vault
  • Urns/keepsakes
  • Transportation needs
  • Music/Video/Photographs/Program
  • Flowers and/or charitable donations
  • Readings, favorite poems, literature or scriptures
  • Obituary/eulogy
  • Cemetery location and choices
  • Final Permanent Memorialization – A tribute to a life lived and a permanent record for future generations
  • Estate planning and documentation of all personal information (e.g. Credit cards, insurance, investments, pensions etc.) that will need to be followed through with after death
  • Reception and catering arrangements

You have control over all of these details and the financial responsibility for your arrangements and can plan for these ahead of time!

Preplan your funeral service with clergy

Complete this form at any time and turn it in to the church office. It will be put in your family file. Remember to give copies to family members so they know YOUR wishes. If you have already made arrangements with a funeral home, they should be provided a copy as well.

How to Write an Obituary

Preparing an obituary for yourself or someone you love is an exercise best approached with care and thought. Like the funeral service itself, an obituary acknowledges the loss of our loved one, expresses the pain of their loss and the joy that their presence among us brought.
Name, age, and place of residence of the deceased, along with the time and place of death. This identifying statement and announcement of the fact of death can be communicated in many ways. ‘Passed away’, ‘died’, ‘went to be with his Lord’, ‘after a long struggle with cancer’, ‘surrounded by her family’, are all common variations in this statement. Some people feel that ‘died’ is too blunt, others say that flowery phrases and euphemisms only get in the way of accepting the fact of death. Use what you feel comfortable with.
It is said that the funeral is for the living. The obituary is for the living too, and one of the most important parts is the listing of survivors and those who preceded your loved one in death (remember that preceded means to come before, while proceeded means moved through). This is a section that benefits greatly from forethought. In the confusion and preoccupation of grief, important relatives can be forgotten. It’s unfortunate if we forget to mention a hobby or interest, but it can be painful if we forget to mention a step-child or sister. List relatives with their first name, spouse’s first name in parenthesis, then surname. If the spouse’s surname is different, or the couple is not married, include the partner’s surname in the parenthesis along with their first name.
Sketch is the key word here. An obituary is not a biography, but a recounting of the most important events, qualities, contributions and connections in a person’s life. Each life is unique, but among the most important universal milestones are: the date and place of birth, parent’s names including mother’s maiden name (ex: Bill and Barb (Maiden name) Green, date and place of marriage, birth name of spouse, education, work, and military service.
If there will be a service add the dates and time.
At the end of an obituary a special message is sometimes found, such as ‘in lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to..’ or ‘Special Thanks to the staff at General Hospital for..’ or ‘We will always carry your memory in our hearts’. Sometimes a short prayer or a line from a poem is placed at the end. These messages are optional, but can be a way of communicating something that did not fit into the body of the obituary.

Organize your estate paperwork to make things easier for your family

  • Put all your important papers and legal documents in one place. Set up a file, put everything in a desk or dresser drawer, or just list the information and location of the papers in a notebook. If your papers are in a bank safe deposit box, keep copies in a file at home. Check each year to see if there is anything new to add/or changes to be made.
  • Tell a trusted family member or friend where you put all your important papers. You don’t need to tell this friend or family member about your personal affairs, but someone should know where you keep your papers in case of an emergency. If you don’t have a relative or friend you trust, ask a lawyer to help.
  • Tell your family/friends you wishes concerning memorial and/or funeral services, preference on burial or cremation. Write a draft obituary to keep with your important papers. It’s harder than you think…. And only you really know how you would like your life summed up.
  • Wills and trusts let you name the person you want your money and property to go to after you die
  • Advance directives let you make arrangements for your care if you become sick. There are two ways to do this:
    - A living will gives you a say in your healthcare if you are too sick to make your wishes known. You can state what kind of care you do or do not want. This makes it easier for family members to make tough healthcare decision for you.
    - A durable power of attorney for healthcare lets you name the person you want to make medical decisions for you if you can’t make them yourself.
  • Full legal name
  • Social security number
  • Legal residence
  • Date and place of birth
  • Names, addresses, phone numbers of spouse and children
  • Location of will, birth and death certificates; certificates of marriage, divorce, citizenship and adoption
  • Employers and dates of employment
  • Education and military records
  • List of medications taken
  • Names and phone numbers of:
  • Doctors, dentists
  • Religious contacts
  • Close friends
  • Relatives
  • Lawyer
  • Financial advisor
  • Tax preparer
  • Sources of income and assets (pension from an employer, IRS’s, 401(k)s, interest, etc.)
  • Social security and Medicare, supplemental health and drug plan information
  • Insurance information (life, health, long-term care, home, car) with policy numbers, agent names and phone numbers
  • Names of your banks and account numbers (checking, savings, credit union)
  • Investment income (stocks, bonds, property) and stockbrokers’ or financial planners’ names and phone numbers
  • Copy of most recent income tax return
  • Location of most often up-to-date will with original signature
  • Liabilities, including property tax-what is owed, to whom, when payments are due
  • Mortgages and debts-how and when paid
  • Location of original deed of trust for home and car title and registration
  • Credit and debit card names and numbers
  • Location of safe deposit box and key

Use the PDF Planning Form or Excel Planning Form to begin collecting information that will help your spouse/family/executor.
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